Time is not always the kindly healer it is made out to be. Time can be a bitter enemy too, dousing flames that once burnt bright – like in a marriage. One of the saddest things that can happen in a marriage is when two people who once shared a level of intimacy that could send hearts racing and pulses pounding become submerged under a wave of indifference.
So what causes couples to lose that all essential spark in a relationship ?
It is not always an outsider who wrecks a marriage. The damage could very well start from within – in small insignificant measures that eventually blow up into a juggernaut that can run over all the good intentions a couple makes as they say their vows. Cooling off of relationships can be chalked up to sheer familiarity, newly developed or newly discovered differences, professional commitments, hormonal changes, or just a waning of affections. Another culprit is all the added responsibility and physical labour involved as the family grows. While children can be a delight, bringing them up can put serious stress on a marriage.
This paradigm shift in a marriage ends up with couples losing hope and even looking elsewhere for something or someone who could rekindle that old spark. Looking outside of the relationship is not the way to go and the best way to bring back hope is to work at your marriage – hard work from both of you to make your marriage work again.
Small, conscious efforts that could be seemingly insignificant could go a long way in changing things. If none of your efforts bear the desired result, talk to someone who can help you. Often suggestions from a third person, an objective view of things can help. And there are professionals trained to deal with and help out in just such situations. Marriage counselling, has never been only for “others” and “others’ homes”.
A Marriage is always Something Special
As a couple, you created something special. You invested so much in the relationship and you know what it felt like to be in that special place. Let it all not go down the drain because of something that can be fixed. Speak up, seek help and bring that zing you lost, back into your marriage.
After all, you did not get married to gain a roommate.